Everything Below the Neck Works Fine
by selanfene
Summary: Because there's no way that line's not an innuendo. A Max/Jude almost-lemon with a frustrating ending. Rated M for slight sexual content, partly to be safe. Oneshot.


Jude gave Max a measuring glance, then said, relieved, "You don't look too messed up." Settling into the seat of Max's taxi cab, he examined his friend from the side. He looked... different, probably due mainly to the moustache, but he was just as scrawny as ever.

"Yeah, well, everything below the neck works fine." Jude couldn't decide if Max was kidding or not.

There was silence for a beat, then the Liverpudlian asked, "Everything?"

"Yes, even that, you sick bastard." Max sent Jude a quick sideways glance, leering and guaging Jude's reaction. He wasn't sure if they could pick up where they'd left off—a few stolen kisses, but nothing more, and neither quite sure what the other wanted, or how it had started, or even if they were gay. Well, Jude was pretty sure he wasn't—he loved Lucy, but he just couldn't quit Max... Max was just, for lack of a better term, open to anything. He would sleep with Prudence the same night as he tenderly kissed Jude. Not that anyone had ever thought it possible for Max's style to be described as tender.

For a moment, Max was sure he'd gone too far. He was beginning to scramble around for a backtrack line in his mind when Jude asked, "Can you prove it?"

It took a few seconds for Max's mind to catch up with his ears and switch gears from "HOW CAN I GET OUT OF THIS MESS?!" to "SEX!!!" but soon he was grinning, parking the cab in an alley, and sliding his hand around Jude's neck. Jude was compliant as they bent their heads together.

The kiss wasn't at all tentative, as the others usually were. It had a taste of bitterness, envy, and outright, built up lust on Max's side, and a taste of long-deserved gratification on Jude's. With a quiet moan, Jude slid his tongue into Max's mouth. He wasn't quite sure if he liked Max's new moutsached look, but it didn't change anything, really. He caressed Max's rough jaw with one hand as he pushed out of his seat with the other.

It didn't take long for both boys to realize there was no way in hell they were stopping like they always had before. Maybe it'd been the fact that Max's shirt came off not long after Jude manipulated him into an uncomfortable position involving a steering wheel in his back and his head bent back to match Jude's that tipped them off, or the fact that Jude was steadily over Max with his breathing heavy and coming in gasps. Or maybe it was the way Max's pants had tightened around his hips...

That was probably it, really. Max wasn't the type to go unsatisfied.

Jude ran his hands up and down Max's stomach, over his chest and shoulders, and down the sides of his back. One hand strayed to the waistband of his pants, and Jude murmered, "That all seems to work fine..."

Max breathed. He couldn't concentrate on anything but the hand playing with the button of his pants. His hands clutched handfuls of the back of Jude's shirt and he tried to breathe evenly. "Ahhahahmmmmahh—AH!" The hand had undone the button... and the zipper... and the pants were down to his knees.

It was precisely the wrong moment for Jude to start thinking, but start thinking, he did. He looked down at Max, twitching slightly and breathing heavily, eyes half-closed and wearing nothing but his boxers, and panicked. He couldn't think of anything to do—he was afraid to go through with it, he just wasn't ready. So, aware that it made him look like an idiot, Jude pulled the waistband of Max's boxers away, reached in, and...

Poked it. Yes, literally poked it.

"Seems to work," he said, trying to hide the embarrassment in his voice. He sat back down in the passenger's seat and buckled his seatbelt (for the first time in his life).

Max took a moment to calm his breathing, and to register what had just happened, then breathed, "You have got to be fucking kidding me." He stared incredulously at Jude and shook his head. "Fine, I'll just..." He opened the door and got out.

Jude sat. Waited. Admittedly, Jude already regretted panicking.

A few minutes later, Max returned with his entire being composed, and his pants not only around his waist again, but properly loose. "Fucker," he muttered as he plopped back into the driver's seat.

**Author's Note/Dislcaimer: I don't own Max, Jude, or Across the Universe. I apologize for any typos, first of all. This fic is, like my other ATU fic, completely pointless and crap. I was just watching Hey Jude and I thought, "Oh, my God. That line is such an innuendo." And this was born. Also, if you're wondering why I had Jude panic at the end, it was because I seriously wanted to write that he poked it.**


End file.
